By MBPDLPayday Loans

Category: Karmic Gold

Sep 30

Socially Active

I am not a socially active person. Truth me told, social issues make me a little nervous– they tend to be polarizing and I don’t know enough about anything to make intelligent declarations about anything. Put simply, when it comes to Hashing Through The Issues, I invariably feel young, inexperienced and under-informed.

This morning, however, my immersion into Netflix TV was interrupted when the last four episodes of Bones Season 3 are available on disc only. Don’t even get me started– I can’t tell you how cruel I think that is, since I refuse to watch TV series out of order for fear of continuity issues. So instead of Crime Drama kicking my morning off, I — in a moment of hazy weakness — watched {The Cove}.

Bottlenose Dolphin

It’s all about the Dolphin slaughter in Taijii, Japan. It was so, so horribly sad. Mostly because there’s a wide and widening knowledge of this kind of cruelty coercion and very few people are doing anything about it. The story is incredibly well-told, though, and the arguments that are made are all sound– supported by the footage that the team recovered. Their technology is also pretty badass.

I recommend it. Even if you’re not one to jump to immediate action. It’s not for the weak-stomached. But it is for the inquisitive, and for people who want to open their eyes a bit to the ugly side to some of the prettier things in life. Like Dolphins.

If that’s not your thing, I recommend BONES. It’s a fabulously intelligent Crime Drama, and I’m smitten.

-MM.

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Aug 06

On Dating.

Last weekend, James took me to Fire Island for a day of Just Us time. My big hesitation in moving in with his parents {and yes, I have a long post on deck for that milestone} was that we would go from having every night and every morning together, alone, to having absolutely no time alone, whatsoever.

It won’t be a problem, he promised me. Well, guess what. It has been.

I’m going to stop right here, and posit strongly that I love Mama and Papa V. There are no two people on the face of the planet who have warmer hearts, or who are more willing to go out of their way to help. {Especially James, who is by every measure, their Golden Boy.} We gave up a little independence and access to grocery delivery at 3am, sure, but Mama and Papa V have given up the blissful routine that comes with a quieter house once the oldest child leaves. I understand wholly that sacrifices were made all around to let us move back in with them, and it is only by their generosity that James and I will be ready to invest in property {as opposed to throwing money down the NYC Rent tubes} in a year or so.

There aren’t words to express the gratitude we feel for that.

And. It’s tough. We knew it would be– It’s tough to transition from spending all your down-time either alone with one other person, or alone with two monster cats, and then suddenly find yourself around five people and three cats all the time and now I can never find the whisk!

I confessed to James that I was starting to feel a little lost in all of it. As a couple. Because now we’re not James and Mallory: The Couple. We’re James and Mallory: The Kids. I haven’t had to play that role in almost six years. It’s tough, re-learning a routine in a family setting that’s fairly drastically different from the one in which you grew up.

James heard me out and told me that he’d been planning to take me to Fire Island, a day Just For Us. I rolled my eyes. All my stories from Fire Island came from my gay-friends who told tales of Cherry Grove that had me sworn never to venture anywhere near the place. I knew what happened in the bushes. As racy as sophomore year was for me, I was not willing to see what I had been told I would find.

No. I told him. Absolutely not.

Two days later, I was given eight rolls of film, our DSLR and told to put on sunscreen.

It was bliss. Fire Island is like stumbling into a foreign tropical paradise, except it’s full of people from Long Island and — from what I can tell– Staten Island. We stayed away from the crowded public beaches and snapped around a thousand photos {I’m not exaggerating}.

I have sorted through and found the best to humbly show you. You’re welcome.

The closest I'll ever get to a runway. And with good reason.

I am Irish. Pale skin is what I do.

The ocean touched me, and I was not a big fan. {You have to understand, my big takeaway from The Little Mermaid is that everything in the ocean wants to eat you. So. I don't often let it touch me. For safety reasons.}

Proof I climbed the whole damn lighthouse IN MY FLIP FLOPS! I climbed up the outside, like SpiderMan. That's my story. I'm stickin' to it.

James climbed the lighthouse, too. But he took the stairs. Don't let him tell you otherwise.

The Lighthouse, at sunset.

Now, if you’ve been to Fire Island, you’re aware of their very interesting local Fauna. Fire Island has DEER. And they look just like the deer I have back home in Upstate, except they act oddly domestic. As in, they’ll just stroll down the boardwalk and let you take photos of them.

At one point, there was a buck with a very impressive rack, and a gaggle of Spanish tourists who had never seen such a thing. “His antlers are fuzzy!” I heard one of the guys exclaim, as he reached out to touch them. If you’ve ever been in Upstate, you have surely heard a story about someone thinking a baby deer was cute, only to find out that its Mama or Papa deer was not. OR! If you have cable, you’ve surely seen an episode of When Animals Attack! in which a deer used its sharp hooves to communicate its displeasure at having been domesticated.

They’re cute, but they’re wild animals. You don’t touch them.

It was completely surreal to move past the buck only to see a doe and her fawn amble across the boardwalk and into a yard to start eating the grass. Ten feet away from people.

The fawn. Still so tiny it had all its spots.

The doe. Who I believe was annoyed that we were ruining her supper.

More or less, what we did all day was walk and snap photos of one another, walking. And we ate, which was OK, but not spectacular. And I had to buy new shoes because as soon as we got out of the car my flip flops started to shred my feet-skins.

I don't have a good excuse for this. I just love the shot. And look! Look at his fancy watch!

Everyone on Fire Island has some sort of Butterfly Garden. The monarchs were lovely. The hornets were not.

And we got to watch the sun set over the water. Which was pretty magical.

I think the best advice I can give any girl who is going through the same changes I find myself suddenly navigating: Don’t forget why you fell in love with him in the first place. Don’t stop dating.

I can’t stress the importance of Us Time enough. We came home a little sunburnt, but fully recharged as a couple. It was exactly what we needed. It was a perfect day.

xo -MM.

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May 31

Stairway to Heaven

The move is complete, except for all the awful unpacking. James and I are still ready to collapse under the exhaustion of it all, especially since we got to move ourselves in all that heat on Saturday.

Would you like to see the best thing about the new house, according to the cats?

That, ladies and gentlemen, are stairs. But according to the cats, it is a giant obstacle-course-scratching-post, with human feet-bait that run up and down it. They are in their kitty-glory. Moose has become a perpetual motion-blur since we let him out of the basement to run free. He’s all but feral now.

And, oh… The glorious, glorious windows with– SQUIRREL!

After a bit of exhaustion, and before a bit of a nap… (I do not have a black eye. I don’t know why the Hipstamatic App made me look like James taught me a lesson about how women should behave.)

The cats have staked out every single window in the house. If a window they want to sit in is not open enough for them to force their little bodies into it, they meow until someone runs in and opens it for them. Elephant is the worst offender. They’re now living like spoiled grandchildren, their every whim now being granted by no less than five people at any given point.

And! We got to spend a lovely Sunday with Michelle and Arune (below) while Nate and (a different) Michelle got married.

The ceremony was beautiful, Michelle was beautiful, the weather was beautiful…

It was everything a bride hopes for on her very special day. Including a series of semi-uncomfortable moments between James and Arune.

… We couldn’t ask for a better Best Man at our wedding. :) Once the dust settles, I’ll be super, super excited.

xo

-M.

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May 24

A Sampling.

It’s been a crazy month, and can someone tell me where May went?

I owe you stories and pictures. I have a day off tomorrow– full disclosure then. For now, a little something to whet your appetite.

-M.

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Apr 13

I am Woman.

Made a friend on the train to work today. How? Well, I smacked her with my bag.

Accidentally. I accidentally smacked her with my very heavy bag. And then we were friends.

I was late, train was full and nobody would move to let me get past the traffic jam just inside the subway doors. So I pried my way toward the back, and when I turned to take my spot, I hit a lady who was sitting in the knees with my heavy, heavy bag. Hard.

“I am SO SORRY!” I said in an urgent hushed whisper. The alarm and sincerity must have been apparent. “Oh, no. You’re fine!” she told me. She smiled. I smiled. I took a closer look at her and complimented her beautiful silk scarf. She thanke me graciously and we chatted politely for two stops until she exited the train. Her name is Nancy, and before she left, she wished me a good day.

She made my morning.

A couple weeks ago, during a bout of fairly violent emotional soul-searching, I came to a sudden and startling realization: I am here to help. I thought I had tapped in to some sort of higher cosmic destiny for myself, certain that Sweet Baby Jesus himself was endorsing this revellation.

“I am here to help!” I said out loud to James. He tries to piece together where it had come from. (Admittedly it was not part of our previous conversation, not that that stopped me.)

“You mean, like, with the dishes?”

Not quite. I see all the time people less fortunate, and it seems unfair, and I feel helpless. I’d like to save everyone. For a very long time I chalked it up to Being Crazy, which runs in my genetics much like freckles and pale skin and blue eyes, only in stronger concentrations.

Tutns out that instead of finding a larger cosmic purpose in life, I had really just struggled through a barrier of biological reality. The book I’m devouring about female psychology, Why She Buys by Bridget Brennan, acutely runs you through what makes women tick, as both consumers and human beings.

My want to over-communicate and rush to the rescue? All girlie-fueled. My ability to ask anyone for directions? Estrogen-based. Even my tendency to prefer one-on-one friendships over always being in a group is derived from the fact that my brain is set up to operate a certain way.

How awesome am I? I am Woman.

I’m eagerly reading on, learning an abundance about myself and my customers. Women… We’re a whacky bunch. But once you get what makes us tick, we’re a very interesting species. Read the book. Get to know us.

The search for the higher cosmic purpose continues.

xo
-M.

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Nov 29

Christmas

We officially have our first Christmas tree.

Elephant is convinced that it’s a delicious treat that we brought home just for her to play with.

Moose wishes he could chew it without being sprayed.

James is laying on the floor spraying them both if they try to eat and/or climb it.

Now. She’s a total fakey fake. The cats have already tried to ingest a bough each, and they’re pretty sure James is just playing with them with the water bottle. I boiled cinnamon with orange peels so it smelled like Mimi’s house used to at Christmas time.

James and I have our first Christmas tree. We built it together and tied ribbons through the globes and strung up all the lights. It’s beautiful. And it’s perfect. And it’s all our own.

-M.

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Nov 12

Meatloaf.

James is the best boyfriend, ever.

I was having a sort of crappy day. Sort of crappy meaning that I kept adding things to my To Do Or Everyone Will Die And Be Fired And Never Get Paid And MUTINY WILL ENSUE list faster than I could cross them off.

I did the schedule for next week five times. The first time it was perfect, except, wrong. And then the three times in the middle, it sucked, but was fine. Then the last time, it was perfect and sucked a lot less. So we kept that one. That one was the winner.

James texted me around 4pm: What would you like for dinner?

Kittens. Boiled. With a side of evil, evil spite.

Meatloaf ok? he asked. Yes, dear. Yes, yes it is. Now, to be fair, James does not know the history of me and meatloaf. My mother made the first Meatloaf Memory that I can recollect. It was inedible. I mean like, fork tines bent. The dog wimpered. The garbage disposal groaned. Mom’s brick meatloaf lives in infamy as one of our touchstone jokes. She still takes the chiding well, two decades later.

James’ was decidedly more delicious.

Now, I’ve been told that I have Paula Deen to thank for this juice hunk of deliciousness. And I did ask him why he didn’t use, oh, a meatloaf pan. “It was big.” Yes, yes it was. But I walked into my apartment after a sorta crappy day at work, and the delicious smell of seasoned ground beef and cheesy goodness and sweet tomato sauce mixed in the air and got me drunk as soon as I opened the door.

This is my perfect boyfriend. That’s my delicious, delicious dinner. It’s the reason why I’m now sitting happily watching Grey’s Anatomy with my evil kitten wrapped around my head on the back of the couch and a very full tummy.

Don’t judge me. It might not look as amazing as something Amy Cao came up with. But it’s PERFEFCT, and if you wanna make something of it, I’ll knock you on your ass and hold you down and tell you all the gory details of my sorta crappy day at work, INCLUDING my payroll matrix woes.

Yeah that’s right. Better that you just move it along. Go look at Amy’s cookies. You’ll feel better.

-M.

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Nov 05

My Own Horn.

Now. I’m not trying to toot my own horn here.

I wake up excited in the morning. There are things to do! And stuff to learn! And food to eat! And people to meet! And work to be done! It’s exciting; I love that every morning I wake up and i’m thrilled to spend another day getting to be me. I don’t know a lot of people who have that.

Especially people who work in retail. It’s hard. And sometimes depressing. And sometimes it feels painfully impossible to meet the high expectations our bosses have for us. And we all want to move up. Now that Nick has moved to Miami, Richie and I are essentially competing for his old spot.

And who knows who will come out ahead. I can’t help feeling a bit like the underdog here, but I’m starry eyed and ambitious and competent. Dedicated and hard working and focused. Educated and enthusiastic and ready and willing to take on this opportunity. So we’ll see. Either way the store will be in good hands.

It’s easy, though, to doubt sometimes. On days like Tuesday and Wednesday when the numbers left a lot to be desired and the team had to look at lots of red marks scribbled on the status board. It’s the nature of the business. We all show up and do our best to show our corporate partners that we’re a solid investment. We believe in our brand. It’s what we’re invested in.

Tonight, I got to fill in a whole column of black numbers. Good black numbers, not numbers that teetered. Numbers I was proud to send to my bosses. I can’t by any stretch take all the credit, even if I was the floor manager today. It’s my team. We’re all a strong, determined crew.

I have an interview tomorrow. Today was my ninth day in a row in the store. I’ve been part of painfully dismal days. I’ve been part of days when we’re doing so well that all we can do is hold on tight and pray not to fall off the ride.

Today, Richie spent the day redesigning the tables in women’s merch, and it looks awesome. He really truly is talented at making environments that are welcoming. And shoppable. I learned a lot from him.

And today I got to crunch numbers after a long stretch and report all good things to my higher ups. I felt like a total rockstar when I left the store.

It almost makes me sad I can’t go in tomorrow and do it all over again. Even if it would be day 10.

… I left a 9 day stretch excited for being able to go in on Sunday. What an awesome feeling.

-M.

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Nov 04

Things I Can Spare.

He seemed to be in a hurry, the total stranger. He had styled hair and a nice camel-colored houndstooth coat. He looked like he had had a morning like I had had. He wasn’t smiling.

I saw his metrocard reader flash the most unholy of all error messages when he swiped it: INSUFFICIENT FARE. He was going to run very late.

I had a transfer on my card, because I caught the bus this morning. I had enough on my card to get the both of us on the train. So I did. He was turning, a bit wild-eyed, looking for the metrocard vendor, trying to get out of the way. “Sir! Sir!” I called. He turned to look at me. “It’s ok. I’ve got you. Go ahead.”

And I swiped him through. Because I had the extra ride, and I could spare it. I gave a homeless man my last $2 last night because I could spare that, too. I have the blessed good fortune that leaves me with the security of knowing that if I go to the ATM, there’s more money there for me. I choose to live with the belief that if I were running late and my metrocard expired and a stranger was in a position to help, she would. I believe that because I live that way as often as possible.

If you can spare it, say thank you for the blessing and pay it forward.

The stranger looked at me with such genuine surprise and gratitude… His day got better. It’s 9:30 AM and I’ve given that to someone already. Maybe I’m not off to such a bad start, after all.

Seeing the homeless on the streets, suffering through the colder nights and malnutrition… It breaks my heart. I can’t save everyone, but I can try to help.

James and I–me, especially– need to weed out the excess clothing we have laying around our closets and drawers. Cluttering up our floor and hampers and desk chairs and couch.

And then, I’m taking it all straight to the local charities. There are people out there who can benefit from my years of hoarding clothing. There are people out there who can find far more necessity in the garments I take for granted.

And, if we’re being really honest here, most of what I own are all things I can spare.

So it’s time to be thankful for my blessings, then take a look at where others can benefit and pay it forward.

-M.

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Oct 20

Eaten.

My iPhone has eaten three blog posts. More precisely, the WordPress Application has, when it tried to publish posts with fake 3G signal.

Consequently, my phone has been put on time out. At least until I find a way to safely preserve the nuggets of brilliance I tap into it, just for you.

But! A total stranger just caught another total stranger from landing in my lap on the train. So there’s that. And my mother is coming to visit for a couple days starting tomorrow. So I’ve got that going for me too.

And I had dinner with Rosa on Saturday, so I’m all refreshed and reminded that I was once a fabulous spitfire who didn’t let anything but a welcoming committee stand between herself and her dreams. Not a bad little-something to recall. And once you see it again, that perspective, it’s so much easier to forge a path back to that place. She’s my spoonful of sugar, that one.

The blog and I will work out our creative differences. James woke me up with a kiss and a smile, Queen is now singing to me about being a champion and I’m determined to have an awesome week at work.

Dare you to do the same.
-M.

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