Category: My People

Aug 24

From James.

In getting all my new projects off the ground, I’ve been the Two Things that I always am when I get new projects. Snappy and Ferociously Independent.

Through it all, James has been nothing but a gem, as always. I went downstairs last Friday morning to find this on my new design station screen.

I believe I’ll keep him, penmanship and all.

-MM.

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Aug 11

Here come the Bride{smaids}

Maxine — the Maid of Honor– was a good sport and tolerated a lot of “Hey, turn and smile!” at J. Crew last week. She gets brownie points, and a post all her own over at The Wedding Blog.

Find it directly {here}.

-MM.

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Jul 02

Nora Ephron

Yesterday morning, before I left the house, I had to empty out the six inches of Stuff that had accumulated at the bottom of my bag. It occurred to me as I sifted that I was one of Those Women that Nora Ephron had written about– one who was Bad At Purses.

I paused for a moment to consider my bag (but not too long because we were already late out the door) and whether or not I hated my purse the way Nora Ephron hates hers (the reasons for which she chronicled in her essay, I Hate My Purse.)

I decided, as I took into account the pile of Post-Its (some used, some new, and who can really tell the difference?), business cards, the lone tampon, an old rumpled check, three pay stubs, two tubes of Carmex, a myriad of napkins, a handful of markers and one straw that had wriggled free of its wrapping– that I do not hate my purse.

I’m just bad at it.

As coincidence would serve, I managed to refill my purse a lot faster than I had emptied it. In went the wallet, the laptop, the Moleskine, the passport and the Thank-You cards I still need to write. It laid there, half-spilling, sort of lifeless on the bed, bloated again with Stuff. New Stuff. But still.

James looked at me: “Do you need a new bag?”

“I think I could use one with a bit more structure, toward the bottom,” I told him as I picked my bag up and set it on the floor. On cue, it flipped onto its side and started spewing its contents onto the bedroom floor. I nodded, “Every time I set this one down, it flips over and empties itself out.” As proven, this was not untrue.

But it was not until later in the day when I (also coincidentally) realized that I had forgotten to put all the writing I meant to edit into my bag that Bigger Things were set into motion. With nothing to edit and 2.5 hours to kill before I met Rosa, I had a lot of time to kill and a very short attention span. My phone was dying, so instead of reading my Kindle App I decided to wander from Bryant Park to 46th/ Fifth Ave to buy a Real Book With Pages at Barnes and Noble. Specifically, I was in the market for another dose of Nora Ephron. I wanted to get Heartburn.

I flirted for a couple moments with the idea of instead getting a Chelsea Handler book, but let’s be honest. Chelsea is funny and all, but she’s no Nora. The more I read, the more Heartburn made me want to write. The more it also made me want to write a cook book, or, anyway, any sort of book that would then somehow cross my path with Nora’s and give me an excuse to invite her over for lunch.

Lunch, I think, is the new dinner, where you can prepare almost anything without the meal taking itself too seriously. Lunch is my third-favorite meal, after Brunch and Dessert (which, in my opinion, is a meal all itself if you eat it properly).

I read on the steps of Saint Patrick’s Cathedral (because if you happen to be in that neighborhood and you’re clearly a local, then why not? So I did.) I often gravitate to that cathedral, anyway, because that’s where my father and I light candles for Mimi and Papa whenever he visits, which is exactly what I did after I read Heartburn for a bit.

Now, to be fair, I didn’t have the $2 cash suggested donation for the candle-offering. I had $.67 cents, total. But I also had a serious case of dehydration because I had given the water I purchased with my lunch to a thirsty-looking homeless lady (who asked me for change before I realized I had $.67 cents I could have spared). She needed the water more, anyway. I did the math in my head and reasoned that I had not only given water to the needy, but had given my last pennies as an offering. From what I remember of the Bible, Sweet Baby Jesus would probably have been satisfied with all this benevolence as Better Than $2. So I lit a candle and said a prayer for Mimi and Papa and headed out on my way.

Now you should know that I absolutely did not leave the church with the intention of buying a new dress, but these things just tend to happen to me, planned or (more often) not. Had I not popped into Ann Taylor, though, two very startling revelations may never have occurred to me, revelations that are certain to Change My Life Forever.

1. I dress alarmingly like my grandmother used to (and, moreover, this does not bother me in the slightest).

2. I truly believe that Nora Ephron is one of the best writers, ever and one of my life-goals is to one day have someone, somewhere, review my work and say, “This young lady is the next Nora Eprhon!” … or something to that tune.

She’s one of the Best Ever, and I’ll maintain that to my death, and I’ll tell you why: She writes in a way that really lets a certain kind of woman (the kind that are bad at purses and run commentary to themselves as they cook supper) really latch on to what she’s saying.

Her writing has it all– the meat and potatoes and even the pie (and sometimes, even the recipes). If you’ve ever lost something in your apartment only to look down after an hour of searching to find it was in your hand all along, her words are for you. If you’re perpetually a step behind on the maintenance of your cuticles, eyebrows, bunyons, under-eye circles or leg hair, her words are for you. If you have ever, a single moment in your life, spelled out your perfectly rational behavior only to have your significant other look at you like the lunatic you are, her words, my dear, are for you.

Which explains in no small way why her words are so much for me.

Every time I lose my voice or style or tone, I read Nora and I always find them again shortly thereafter. Her writing summons them back again like bashful children who wandered off without permission, their faces taught with timid smiles as they shuffle their feet. Hullo, they say. Sorry to keep you waiting.

How it took me so long to realize this about her and her writing and its effect on me is beyond me, but there it is, all because I bought a scarf along with my new dress– a scarf Nora would probably love.

And it’s not– as Nora might guess– because I’m starting to hate my neck.

I just also happen to really love scarves.

-MM.

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Jun 15

Dear iPhone 4

Dear iPhone 4,

For the love of MERCY, please let James just order you. Or I swear, so help me GOD, I am putting him on a plane to Apple HQ first thing tomorrow morning, without giving him coffee or a bagel first, and before he’s been able to have his morning pee.

On top of that, I’ll send Moose with him, and if you’re not yet acquainted with that monster of a feline, let me just tell you, politely, that he has only just come off a 24-hour punishment cycle for attacking my wedding gown. Moose, unlike James, will be given plenty of coffee before I send him to you, and nary a sedative. He will also be deprived of his morning constitutional, though, and alas, he is mighty particular about where he does his business. I’m sure any of your offices would do, though, under the circumstances.

Please make no mistake, these are not threats but promises. Additionally, if the situation is not rectified in a timely, efficient, polite manner… Well, I’ll just have to phone around a bit until I get your direct line.

And then I’ll give it to my mother.

And then, iPhone 4, you will rue the day you withheld yourself from James.

It doesn’t have to be so, dear phone. Just surrender yourself to my most miserable fiance, and all can be right in all our worlds.

Adieu,

Mallory

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Jun 11

Coffee with Kristin

On Tuesday– which ended up being a very rough day– I went in to work at 7:30am. The only other people I know that are already at their computers at that decidedly ungodly hour are my father and Kristin.

I sat in Ground Support, huddled over my coffee, with my eyes pressed shut.

Like magic, I was perched on a stool, sitting in a warmly lit kitchen that smelled like country air and cinnamon, chatting to Kristin while our kids played together. We were older than we are now, our laugh lines deeper and our eyes more full of soul. It was lovely.

The problem with daydreaming is that there’s not much room made for it in Real Life. I had to shake the warm kitchen, swelling with sunshine and laughter. I had to go to work.

Which I did.

But not before buying a second cup of coffee, for Kristin (5 hours away) and told her she had 20 minutes to come claim it or I’d drink it myself.

That second cup of coffee tasted like homesickness, but it made for a great photo.

-M.

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Jun 10

Self-Empowerment

I had the extreme good fortune of the Viacom shareholders meeting being yesterday in New York City. Not that I own stock, or would have been able to attend, but the event brought one of my most respected mentors and (now that we’re all pretending I’m a grown up) dearest friends down from CNY and I was able to turn off Real Life for a couple hours when we went out to dinner.

It got me thinking.

I had, sitting in her office one day, asked a simple question about an initiative our organization had been working on. The question was a bit of a tangent, and certainly there were more important things I should have been working on, but her response was as it always was: supportive and empowering. “Great idea, Mallory. We should look into that.”

Heather is a truly, truly beautiful person inside and out. I’m lucky to know her, and blessed to have her in my life.

Six years and several succeding generations later in the organization’s life, the question triggered a study that generated legislation that specifically accomplished what we had been looking to do, which was keep very dangerous materials out of the hands of children.

Win. And even though I was just the drop that blipped the ripple, it’s very very humbling to be told by someone you respect so much, “That? That started because you had fire and initiative.”

I realized that I need more conversations like that in my life, only stated in the present tense, and I need to have them with myself. I have a thousand creative I’m not entertaining– things that I truly think would make the world a better place– because I let myself believe I don’t have the time, energy, resources or talent.

Really, I’ve lost my drive. I’ve become this odd womanchild hybrid, enough naivety to begin to understand just how much I still don’t know. And it’s intimidating. I used to be an unstoppable force, ambitious and optimistic and stubborn and insatiably thirsty for life. Now? I’m just tired.

I don’t cut myself slack, sure. But I don’t make myself push anymore either. It doesn’t feel like there’s room to anymore. And what’s the point of pushing on walls? There isn’t one.

That shouldn’t, however, stop me from finding the door and allowing myself outside, into the sunshine where I can twirl with my arms out.

Now… Where did I put that key…?

-M.

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Jun 07

E-mail Blitz.

I write a lot of e-mails lately. You can’t plan a wedding without them. I don’t know how brides ever planned weddings without e-mail. I’ll say it again– when I am married to James, it is 100% all thanks to the fact that I had access to e-mail through the process.

I said it over on our wedding site, but I’m slowly getting over my hesitation to post personal e-mail messages on my websites because 1. I write more e-mail than I do Blog Content and 2. The wedding (and its involved participants) are very laughably framed in some of the e-mails I’m sending and receiving.

As a test run, and for example, a little nugget I sent to my mother this morning:

Subject: Engagement Party MADNESS

Body: Just kidding. It’s not really madness, is it? … I’m so excited to get to wear a sundress.

Can you send/forward me any RSVPs you get? I’m keeping a list of people who were invited, who accepted, and what gifts we’re getting.

And when I say, “I’m keeping a list.” what I mean is, “I’ve dropped all this into Excel, into a spreadsheet so large I have to feed it several small children every morning, just to keep it from eating the groom.”

There’s a chihuahua outside the cafe where I’m sitting, and it’s giving my the death stare. Today is completely outta control.

LOVE YOU!
-MM

And, we have Big News!

(NO WE ARE STILL NOT PREGNANT. NO THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN ANY TIME SOON. NO THERE IS NO NEED TO ASSUME THAT IS “BIG NEWS” EVERY TIME WE ANNOUNCE WE HAVE NEWS OF LARGER-THAN-NORMAL SIZE)

I can’t just out and tell you yet, because I’m waiting for the photos to decide they’re going to sit the right way in the blog posts. But! You know that feeling you have when you’re pretty sure you’re never going to find an apartment in time, before your landlord kicks you out and you’re completely homeless?

We felt that way about a Church in which to get married, up until last night. :) Pictures soon.

xo

-M.


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May 31

Stairway to Heaven

The move is complete, except for all the awful unpacking. James and I are still ready to collapse under the exhaustion of it all, especially since we got to move ourselves in all that heat on Saturday.

Would you like to see the best thing about the new house, according to the cats?

That, ladies and gentlemen, are stairs. But according to the cats, it is a giant obstacle-course-scratching-post, with human feet-bait that run up and down it. They are in their kitty-glory. Moose has become a perpetual motion-blur since we let him out of the basement to run free. He’s all but feral now.

And, oh… The glorious, glorious windows with– SQUIRREL!

After a bit of exhaustion, and before a bit of a nap… (I do not have a black eye. I don’t know why the Hipstamatic App made me look like James taught me a lesson about how women should behave.)

The cats have staked out every single window in the house. If a window they want to sit in is not open enough for them to force their little bodies into it, they meow until someone runs in and opens it for them. Elephant is the worst offender. They’re now living like spoiled grandchildren, their every whim now being granted by no less than five people at any given point.

And! We got to spend a lovely Sunday with Michelle and Arune (below) while Nate and (a different) Michelle got married.

The ceremony was beautiful, Michelle was beautiful, the weather was beautiful…

It was everything a bride hopes for on her very special day. Including a series of semi-uncomfortable moments between James and Arune.

… We couldn’t ask for a better Best Man at our wedding. :) Once the dust settles, I’ll be super, super excited.

xo

-M.

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May 24

Moments in Motion.

Kristin and Ryan have a very cute kid. Every time I talk to Kristin, I thank her for having such a good-looking child. I’m a bad liar, you see, and constantly having to croon over an unattractive baby is more than I’d be able to do convincingly for someone who knows me so well. Jonas is a little ball of light and love and chubby-baby-cheeks, so it all worked out well, and nobody has to cry.

Did you know that 9-month-olds don’t sit still? Especially ones that crawl? I snapped easily 100 photos of the little guy as he scooted here (and pulled things off a shelf) and scooted there (and tugged things off the table) and scooted everywhere (tugging at the dog). When I say “He’s a little blurry” in the photos, what I mean is, “He functions as a little blur, as he scoots from here to there, tugging on anything his little fist can reach.”

Case study: He Found Out My Phone Has A Camera. (Rotate them yourselves, folks. I can only do so much on my lunch break. :) )

xo

-M.

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Apr 13

I am Woman.

Made a friend on the train to work today. How? Well, I smacked her with my bag.

Accidentally. I accidentally smacked her with my very heavy bag. And then we were friends.

I was late, train was full and nobody would move to let me get past the traffic jam just inside the subway doors. So I pried my way toward the back, and when I turned to take my spot, I hit a lady who was sitting in the knees with my heavy, heavy bag. Hard.

“I am SO SORRY!” I said in an urgent hushed whisper. The alarm and sincerity must have been apparent. “Oh, no. You’re fine!” she told me. She smiled. I smiled. I took a closer look at her and complimented her beautiful silk scarf. She thanke me graciously and we chatted politely for two stops until she exited the train. Her name is Nancy, and before she left, she wished me a good day.

She made my morning.

A couple weeks ago, during a bout of fairly violent emotional soul-searching, I came to a sudden and startling realization: I am here to help. I thought I had tapped in to some sort of higher cosmic destiny for myself, certain that Sweet Baby Jesus himself was endorsing this revellation.

“I am here to help!” I said out loud to James. He tries to piece together where it had come from. (Admittedly it was not part of our previous conversation, not that that stopped me.)

“You mean, like, with the dishes?”

Not quite. I see all the time people less fortunate, and it seems unfair, and I feel helpless. I’d like to save everyone. For a very long time I chalked it up to Being Crazy, which runs in my genetics much like freckles and pale skin and blue eyes, only in stronger concentrations.

Tutns out that instead of finding a larger cosmic purpose in life, I had really just struggled through a barrier of biological reality. The book I’m devouring about female psychology, Why She Buys by Bridget Brennan, acutely runs you through what makes women tick, as both consumers and human beings.

My want to over-communicate and rush to the rescue? All girlie-fueled. My ability to ask anyone for directions? Estrogen-based. Even my tendency to prefer one-on-one friendships over always being in a group is derived from the fact that my brain is set up to operate a certain way.

How awesome am I? I am Woman.

I’m eagerly reading on, learning an abundance about myself and my customers. Women… We’re a whacky bunch. But once you get what makes us tick, we’re a very interesting species. Read the book. Get to know us.

The search for the higher cosmic purpose continues.

xo
-M.

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